How To Write The Perfect(ly Imperfect) Wedding Speech

Giving the perfect speech at your loved one’s wedding can feel like a lot of pressure. It’s normal to feel anxious! Getting up in front of the crowd is always a bit nerve inducing, even for the most confident public speaker. The thing about wedding speeches is that (generally) everyone is already on your team. The guests are invested, emotional, and they are rooting for you, and more importantly: the happy couple. You don’t have to be a professional poet to create a memorable wedding toast, and you don’t have to be a keynote speaker to execute it, either. That’s why we’ve put together this list of pointers to get you started.

Know your audience. 

It’s wise to have an idea of your target audience. For example, a wedding with a young, boisterous crowd and a lively family in a casual atmosphere can allow for some flexibility with tone and spirit. However, if the event is more formal, then a genuine, thoughtful speech could be more appropriate. Generally speaking, a good speech contains an engaging introduction, a good-humoured middle, and a sincere, candid closing.

Introduce yourself.

It’s important to clarify your relationship to the bride and/or groom. Your speech should be about the giddy newlyweds; but it’s likely that not all of the wedding guests will know who you are. At the start of your speech, briefly describe who you are and your relationship to the couple. 

Tell ONE to THREE stories about the couple. 

Odds are, you are most likely representing one member of the couple, but your speech should emphasize their relationship as a whole. This is a great place to share a personal piece of information that bonds you to the bride/groom and highlights your connection with the couple. Ideas include a cute origin story, an anecdote about when they first met or began their courtship, or a moment when things got serious. Was there an event that stands out in your memory that solidified their future together? How do they complement one another? Don’t be afraid to get creative! On the flip side: this is not a roast. By all means, it is a fun opportunity to lightly tease or cajole the person you are toasting, but do ensure that each anecdote ends positively. Keep it family friendly. Save the embarrassing, spicy, politically incorrect, or awkward memories for private conversations. 

Prepare and practice, practice, practice. 

On this day of celebration, phones can run out of battery in a hurry, or get lost in a million different locations during the ceremony, photo opps, happy hour, bathroom breaks, etc. Make separate physical notes if you can, and don’t rely solely on technology. Having a back-up copy of your speech on hand will save you a lifetime of panic and grief if something ends up happening to your device. 

Ideally, you prepare a basic framework to elaborate from. However, if you’re extra antsy, a completely scripted speech is fine! It’s great to memorize key points to allow for the chance to be more engaged with your guests. If you're a person who gets stage fright, write out your entire speech well in advance, and revise it as you get closer to the big day. Give yourself at least two weeks before the wedding to draft out and revise your speech. Run your speech past a friend or a fellow guest if feedback would put you more at ease. And last but not least: keep your wits about you prior to your time in the spotlight. Nerves and an open bar can be a cringy combination. Slurring or incoherent rambling tangents are ill-advised, so try to go easy on the alcohol until after your toast is delivered! All in all - a well articulated wedding speech will have you comfortable standing up in front of your loved ones, delivering a genuine sentiment that the bride and groom will cherish long after the day is done.

If there is a microphone - use it.  

Before you begin, perform a quick mic check to ensure any guests in the cheap seats can hear what you’ve prepared for the bride and groom. If you follow this writing advice, then you’ve been working on your speech for enough time that you want to ensure everyone in attendance can hear it! Chances are also high that the videographer will be recording audio during your toast. So, for technical advice: hold the microphone directly under your chin. Make contact with your chin; that's how close it should be for maximum effectiveness. Practice with your cooking spoon if need be. A microphone is a wonderful tool for large events when implemented correctly.

Short and sweet baby, short and sweet.

We cannot emphasize this enough: keep it short. Five minutes maximum. Practice in advance and time yourself. A one minute speech is completely acceptable. Your love for the couple knows no bounds; except during speeches. After 5 minutes you will start losing people, and any longer it’s very likely that people will be getting up to drink, eat, smoke, or hide in the bathroom until you’re done (or wishing they had). Just kidding, but for real: less is so much more at large group events. 

Congratulate the happy couple! 

This step seems so obvious, but many people forget to toast the couple due to nerves. Take an intentional moment to wholeheartedly congratulate the newlyweds in an official toast as you close out your speech. 

Alright you’ve made it through our crash course! Take a few deep breaths, unfold that piece of paper, and go for it.