How can mindfulness make a wedding day better?

Mindfulness means paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment without judgement. So when we are in the midst of a big, exciting experience (like maybe the biggest day of our lives?!) it is so easy to get caught up in it all.

When you add in the complexity of your own nerves and emotions about the day along with the emotion of your family and friends, it can actually feel like a very stressful event in our brain and body. So we want to find ways to schedule in mindful moments to calm down the stress response, slow down, and take in our surroundings.

Doing this will also ensure that at the end of the day, it won’t feel like you blinked and missed it! Mindfulness helps us fully experience our wedding day when we really don’t wanna miss a thing (apologies for the Aerosmith lyrics)

How can I let go and just be in the moment?

My biggest tip for being in the moment on your wedding day is a technique I call Zoom Out . If you feel yourself getting anxious, stressed or overwhelmed, imagine your perspective being zoomed out from your body and instead see yourself in your environment as if from above.

Just like you would zoom out using google maps or a satellite view, when we decide to observe ourselves in our surroundings it has a calming effect to the nervous system as we are no longer feeling controlled by our thoughts.

Then we have an opportunity to see all the amazing things around us like our loved ones, a stunning wedding arch that took forever to find or the beautiful flower arrangements your mother said you didn't need. From being in the moment and observing our surroundings, we then can make the choice to feel gratitude rather than stress.

How can I ease stress and anxiety while planning my wedding?

From my own experience, the stress and anxiety that comes with planning a wedding is all the unknowns and uncertainty that we cannot control. Our brains do NOT like not knowing and are wired to relax only when we feel prepared for all potential threats.

Alas, life does not work that way. So when planning the day gets in the way, what do I say? Reset and reframe. Reset your focus by reframing it to what you CAN control. Ask questions like - How do I want to feel when I am getting ready? What is important to me and my partner? What do I want my guests to remember about spending our day with us? These are great questions to ask yourself when strong opinions are being voiced from those around you that don’t align with what you want your wedding to be about.

And if all else fails, stop - drop - and take a few slow deep breaths!

How can my fiancé and me work on mindfulness leading up to the wedding?

The more you make mindfulness a daily practice rather than something you have to schedule into your day, the better and more long lasting the benefits will be.

It is also helpful when establishing mindfulness as a habit to attach it to something you already do often and enjoy. For me, I am training myself to slow down and really be present for those first few sips of my morning coffee and stopping to notice how many colours I can see in the forest when I walk my dog.

You and your fiancé can choose something together or individually where you want to be more mindful and hold each other accountable by doing a check in over dinner - “So how did your coffee taste this morning?” I also highly suggest starting a gratitude list together. My husband and I have made it a habit now that we can’t fall asleep without saying one thing we were either grateful for that day or naming something that went well.

This helps us both reflect on how we felt that day and notice the positives even in the midst of what might have felt like a crappy day. A few suggestions for questions are:

• What are you grateful for today?

• Who made your day a little bit better?

• What was your small win today?